PS: I know I'm technically not a Chicagoan, but most of these are still true for me...so any real Chicagoans on here, please don't hurt me. :)
You Know You're From Chicago When...
You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?"
You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.
You know what "the Hillside strangler is."
You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.
You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.
You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.
You can imitate the Mayor's whine.
You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.
You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.
Da is a proper definite article.
You expect corruption in local politics.
You call the interstate "The expressway."
You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you.
You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.
You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.
You know why they call it "the Windy City."
Your uncle voted for Daley in the most recent city election, even though that uncle has been dead for 20 years.
You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it.
You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.
You've never been to Springfield.
You know a good gyros joint.
You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common.
You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant.
You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.
You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.
Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea).
You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.
You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax."
The "Living Room" is called the "front room"
You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away.
You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois."
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"
You refer to Chicago as "The City"
"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!
You buy "The Trib"
You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog
You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is
You understand what "lake-effect" means
You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
You have ridden the "El"
You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, 708,& 815
You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."
You know what the phone numbers are for Empire Carpet and Luna Carpet!
As a child you wore gym shoes, attended grammar school, and used the phrase "Sky Blue!" in games of hopscotch.
Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!"
You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck.
You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue.
You are STILL a Bulls fan........
You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik"
You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper.
You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.
You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese
You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park
You have made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn.
What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah....
You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front.
It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight
You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway (and you don't flinch when you see they upped the toll to a buck-fifty)
When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
You add possessive endings to the names ofgrocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewel's"; "I bought it at Target's"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Mart's"
You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.
You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
You know the significance of State and Madison.
You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
Your neighbors get in a big brawl at the annual neighborhood block party over which baseball team is better.
You know what "No cop, no stop!" is all about.
You stay away from Navy Pier because it's a tourist trap.
LSD is not just the abbreviation for a hallucinogenic drug.
You know that there really is an East Side of Chicago, and it isn't in the middle of the lake!
You can go to the zoo for free.
When non-Chicagoans suggest that you should root for both Chicago baseball teams, you scoff at them because "they just don't get it."
You know where the real St. Patrick's Day parade is!
When a friend says they're going into bankruptcy, you tell them that they should call Peter Francis Geraci.
You know what gangways are.
You don't know what the heck a bubbler is.
You tend to abbreviate things...the Magnificent Mile becomes the Mag Mile, US Cellular Field becomes The Cell, etc.
You regularly see that same TV commercial for Victory Auto Wreckers in Bensenville that hasn't changed in decades.
When someone calls you an "F.I.B.," you respond by calling them a "cheesehead."
You think that people from Indiana don't know how to drive.
People from Wisconsin think you don't know how to drive!
When out-of-towners say you have an accent, you think they're crazy.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Chicago.
You Know You're From The Region (Northwest Indiana) When...
You dont know anything about farming...at least not legal farming.
When you need to run out to the store you go to Jewel.
You call the interestate the "Tollroad"
Running red lights is normal!
You know roads are just a place for trains to park across
Only a true region rat can tell which town they are in at any given time.
You measure distance in minutes instead of miles.
You understand what "Lake-Effect" is.
School isn't cancelled unless there is at least 20 feet of snow on the ground.
You can see downtown Chicago from your neighborhood, yet it takes an hour to get there!
You don't "Cruise the strip."
You think all amusement parks are called "Great America"
You have motion-sensor lights on your garage and house, but don't lock the doors on either of them!
You leave your car running in the parking lot at the store.
You end sentences with unnecessary prepositions ("Where is my coat at?" or "I want to go with!")
There is only one LAKE, everything else is a pond.
You think anything south of US-30 is "Southern Indiana"
You know the night sky isn't black, it's orange!
Oil tanks are more common than trees in your neighborhood.
You know what good pizza tastes like, and it's not Papa John's.
You love Kohl's.
Midway is not an island, it's an airport.
You know more about what's going on in Illinois than in Indiana.
Sometimes you forget that Indiana even HAS a football team (The Colts???).
You think bridges were invented to cross railroad tracks, not rivers.
You like White Castle.
Your bumper is rusted from road salt.
Your favorite holiday movie is "A Christmas Story."
You don't drink soda, you drink pop.
You think that country music sucks.
You are skilled at lane changing and know that "All five lanes on I-80 were MEANT to be used!"
You can appreciate the humor of Mancow.
You know that beaches exist in places other than Florida and California.
You always keep at least $5 in change in your car for tolls.
You know that not all passenger trains are powered by steam.
Your neighborhood IS a proposed third airport.
You know better than to light a match within 5 miles of the Little Calumet River.
What the hell is Hardee's?
You're not really a "Hoosier."
Even though you go to school three hours away, you still cant help but watch WGN news on cable each night.
You forget we even have a county fair.
Who needs a county fair anyway when there is August Fest?
Everyone else at the gas station is from Illinois.
The "northern lights" are the flames from Amoco's refinery.
You know you're not from Chicago...but you pretend to be.
You pass these jokes on to your other "Region Rat" friends.